Before I Start
Before I start,
I’d like to make it clear
That most of people will completely disagree
With all the words that I write here.
For they think they know best
About what everyone needs
And it isn’t their fault
They have a different default.
But neither is it mine.
Just Passing By
‘Oh I was just passing by.’
Why didn’t you just keep on going?
‘Special’ Occasions
Every car
Catches my eye,
Waiting for people
Who think that I’m kidding
Or don’t really mean it.
Well,
SURPRISE!
I do.
But really,
It exhausts me.
And by this evening
My person will be
Picking up the pieces,
Not fondly reminiscing about a day
Full of cake and best wishes.
I get it.
It’s my fault:
I welcome you in with a smile,
Make chit-chat
(Frantically planning the next question while
Analysing your answer to the last),
Offer you a cuppa
(So I can escape to the kitchen)—
Do all the things a ‘good host’ should.
But REALLY,
Next year,
How about a simple text
Or good old-fashioned card?
No?
Of course,
You know best.
Life Begins
At 5 I was confident and fearless;
I could do anything,
And I did.
By 10 I knew I was different,
And so did all the other kids.
By 15 I’d hidden behind my studies:
At least it was a reason to be an outsider.
At 20 I met my person:
The one who gets me.
He taught me a lot
(I’m still taking lessons).
At 25 I hit the workplace:
Packed lunches in the multi-storey.
By 30 I’d swapped the staffroom
For the stationery cupboard.
At 35 I was at the top of my game
And completely disillusioned
In a world that did not fit my ideals
(Or morals).
By 40 I was exhausted
Trying to fit into a world
Where I didn’t belong.
At 45 I decided to stop pretending
And start living
My life.
(By 50 I hope I’ll be a bit better at it).
Friends?
I tried them on once.
They didn’t fit.